man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
where are you?
Hypothermia
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
