It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
