I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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