Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
