You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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