i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
