Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
