All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize