And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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