Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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