i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
please come you make the beer taste better
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize