i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
