Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
