Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
