From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
