I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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