what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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