Non-Jews are for practice
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
