I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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