I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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