Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
