Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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