That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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