The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
