dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
