Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I want her autograph on my taint
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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