I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
