Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
