We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
