Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
