my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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