So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
