We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
