Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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