i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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