i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize