as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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