exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
