yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
