She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize