But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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