so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
