I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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