i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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