am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
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