Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
