My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We have started to decorate penises.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
