Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
