She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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