I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
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Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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