One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
