I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I currently don't understand fingers.
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