I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
