My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i drank out of a bidet.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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