i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
