Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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