So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize