I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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