No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Randomize
