Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
